


You & I

by rilla



Series: the kitchen table [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Ficlet, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-04-20 16:01:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4793672
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rilla/pseuds/rilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Zayn and Liam ficlet, set just before they graduate from university.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You & I

**Author's Note:**

> Reposting some tumblr ficlets because I like to have them all in the same place. Inspired by a 'things you said at the kitchen table' prompt from hrhpatroclus on tumblr.

Liam is drunk. That much is obvious before Zayn even gets downstairs. Liam is drunk and clattering around and the kettle’s on and everything smells like kebabs and ketchup. Zayn’s got an essay due tomorrow morning about the role of hubris in King Lear so it’s one of the few nights out he’s missed, and he’s already regretting it as he comes into the kitchen and sees Liam there, all gold skin and white t-shirt and sweaty strands of hair falling down over his forehead. Zayn feels a bit of a pang when he sees him too because it’s the last year of uni and things are different, somehow. Liam’s been out with Louis more, the two of them forming an impenetrable little double act, and it’s just - it’s fine, obviously. It’s great. It’s just that things are changing, and it’s hard. And they’re all going to be graduating in four months and then things will have changed even more and it won’t just be the five of them in their ramshackle little house, they’ll be out in the real world, and that’s a little terrifying. Liam was the first person who befriended him at university, the first person he was truly friends with. The thought of losing that, the knowledge that maybe they’re halfway there already, is even more frightening.

But for now there’s tonight. There’s Liam with the smell of JD rolling off him in waves and his sweet silly smile lighting up his face the second Zayn steps into the kitchen. “Mate!” he says and then, more quietly: “Louis is asleep. We have to be quiet.”

“I’d imagine Niall and Harry are asleep too, upstairs,” Zayn says, scratching the swallow on the back of his hand.

“Yeah, but Louis is there.” Liam gestures through to the living room, and right, yeah, okay. There Louis is, sprawled over the sofa, arms akimbo, mouth open. He’s snoring faintly, boozy and exhausted, and Zayn gets the washing up bowl that ceased to be a washing up bowl the first time Niall was sick in it two years ago, and puts it on the floor next to him, just in case. “Good idea,” Liam stage whispers, and Zayn has to laugh, pushing the door shut behind him as he goes back into the kitchen. “Did you have a good night?” he asks.

“Great, great,” Liam says, and picks up the kettle mid boil. “Do you think this is done?”

“No, babe,” Zayn says, and moves over to him, grabs the kettle out of his hands and nudges him gently with his hip towards a chair. “Tea, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Liam agrees enthusiastically.

Zayn can feels Liam’s eyes on him as he gets out mugs, teabags, milk, sugar, and sits down on the chair next to Liam, finally, once the tea’s been made. “You should probably have some water,” he says, eyeing Liam carefully.

“Mate, I’m literally sober,” Liam says, and drops half his kebab in his lap. “Oh.”

“Sober,” Zayn says. “Right.”

Liam smiles over at him, eyes crinkling in the corners. Sometimes the affection Zayn feels for him is like a punch in the chest. “Do you want some?” Liam says, pushing his yellow polystyrene takeaway tray over.

“I’m all right, babe,” Zayn tells him, and rolls his eyes and grabs some lettuce when Liam’s gaze goes all sad and pathetic. “I don’t eat pig, remember?”

“Oh.” Liam looks down at his food and then he agrees, “This is absolutely pork. I’m sorry. I’m a bad friend.”

“I hate it when you’re a sad drunk,” Zayn tells him, and shreds the lettuce between the fingers of one hand, his other hand curling around his boiling mug of tea. “You should always be happy.”

“You make me happy,” Liam says, and Zayn lets himself relax into a smile, lets the side of his foot rest against Liam’s. After a moment Liam says abruptly, words only catching on each other a little, “Oi, did I tell you me and Louis are going to live together next year? We’re going to London!”

“Are you?” Zayn asks, trying to sound pleasant. He feels like the bottom’s just fallen out of his stomach. Being left out is something that probably won’t kill him, but sometimes he feels like it might, when he sees Liam and Louis laughing together, heads pressed close. He wonders sometimes if there’s more than that going on and then hates himself for being a dick and making assumptions and being jealous. It’s none of his business. Liam is his friend and he always has been and hopefully he always will be. The difficult thing is that he never feels as much stillness with anyone else as he does with Liam, the ability to just be, to relax, to breathe, to be understood. He thinks that after university it’s going to be a tough old life, trying to find that with someone else.

“Yeah!” Liam says, and almost knocks over his tea. “Whoopsy,” he says, and rights it extremely carefully. “What about you?”

“London as well,” Zayn says.

“You could live with Harry and Niall,” Liam suggests kindly.

“I could,” Zayn agrees, wanting to tip the rest of Liam’s kebab over his lap.

“Louis said it wouldn’t be a good idea to have all of us living together again,” Liam says. “Like, it’s been hard, right?”

“Has it?” Zayn asks coolly.

“Well, maybe just me? Like it’s complicated and Louis was saying maybe if I get some distance from you I’ll be happier, you know? Like I like being around you but sometimes I’m like, oh, mate, I think I need another reminder that we’re, like…” Liam picks up his tea and drinks half of it in one gulp. “Jesus, that was hot.”

“That we’re what?” Zayn says. His heart’s doing something strange inside his chest.

Liam chews his lip, all big eyes and worried mouth. “That we’re, you know. Just friends.”

Zayn blinks at him. “Did you…” His voice sounds strange. “Did you want to be more than that?”

Liam laughs, sweet and bright and so fucking endearing that Zayn wants to put his fist through the table. “Zayn, have you seen you? And you’re one of my best mates. And you’re lovely. And I love you. And that doesn’t, like - it doesn’t stop, the way it does with the others. I love all of you, you know? Of course I want to be more than friends.” He grins and then he frowns, sudden and sharp. “Oh, fuck. Am I gonna regret this tomorrow?”

The kitchen is dim and dark and it doesn’t smell amazing. One of the lights has gone and the chairs are all mismatched, and one of them is broken from that time Niall accidentally put his foot through it. There’s a huge pile of rubbish next to the bin, pizza boxes and empty milk cartons and beer bottles, and tea stains down the walls from where people have thrown their used teabags at the bin, and missed. Right now, it seems like the most beautiful place in the world, with Liam looking over at him with dark gorgeous eyes and a tentative, half-expectant expression.

“No,” Zayn says. He reaches across the table until he finds Liam’s hand, and knots their fingers together. Liam looks down at their joined hands with amazement. _Here’s to the future_ , Zayn finds himself thinking. _Here’s to us finally not being stupid any more. Here’s to adulthood, and the next step in our lives._ “Nah, you won’t regret a thing.”

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is [flomps](http://flomps.tumblr.com) and my twitter is [foracorkscrew](https://twitter.com/foracorkscrew) \- say hi! Thank you for reading this. It was originally found here.


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